Taking and sending, also known as “Tonglen”, is a Tibetan Buddhist practice used to develop compassion. The technique involves breathing in the suffering or difficulty of others, and breathing out relief, care, or ease. Spending time in this practice helps to shift our relationship to our own pain and the pain and suffering of others.

Taking & Sending / Tonglen Instructions

These instructions were written by the user “Shargrol” from The Dharma Overground forum:

1. Find some aspect of your present experience that is lacking, is difficult, is suffering, etc.

2. Feel that experience. It can help to name it.

3. State the intention: “if there are any other beings out there that are experiencing this and having too much difficulty with it, may I experience it for them. May their experience come to me. May I fully experience it with no resistance. May they find relief.”

4. Feel that experience again. Soak in it, dwell in it. Also imagine the joy the other feels being free of it and how they can gain perspective/insight because they now aren’t overwhelmed by it. Go back and forth between you and other.

5. After a period of time that feels right, drop the intention and say, “May all beings be free from suffering, may all beings awaken, may all beings be happy.”

And then repeat the whole cycle again when it feels right.

The benefit of this practice is you are not taking on anything new, you’re experiencing what you are already experiencing, but you are taking on what you are already experiencing with a much deeper intention that goes beyond yourself. And it ends with a reaffirmation that we’re all worthy of peace, awakening, and happiness.